Through the last weeks, there has been one very engaging thought occupying my mind: The pilgrimage is nearly here! Ever since I’ve made my New Year’s Resolution, it seems like the time flies even faster than usually. The closer was my D day, the more fears started to pop up in my mind. The panic I felt brought various excuses for why now is really bad time to go because there are so many things that need to be finished. All these rational fears that usually appear when we are contemplating the past or worry about the future …
There Was Something Bigger than Rational Fears
“What is going to happen with all projects running right now? And how about my boys that grow faster and faster and are already turning into great Men! I cannot leave all that!” the ratio of the physical Sasa in her Earthly body was whispering to me. But in my spirit, I felt the need to fulfil this promise I gave to myself. I need to walk this path to conclude my project. Because it feels like the goal of walking the Camino Frances was set by something bigger than me. The need to walk the way is so strong I just have to do it, no matter how many excuses I find and how persuasive the reasons for not going are.
In my heart, I know there is nothing big enough to turn me around and walk away at this point. I just have to do it.
It’s been between 7 and 8 months since I’ve decided to go. From that moment on, I’ve been preparing myself physically and reached a really good condition. But the last month – as if something was preventing me to continue – I haven’t done anything special. I’m not even walking that much anymore. The hibernation I feel I’ve been fallen into seems like I have to rest before the Big Walk. So, I just went with it as I try to do with most of the things – let them happen and enjoy the process as well as the fruits they bring. Just tried to be in the moment and embrace what life was bringing me.
How Being in the Moment Helps Me Overcoming the Rational Fears
So, the D day has arrived. Packing the bags, getting ready. Besides my material travel rations, I will also be accompanied by one of my favourite productivity motivational quotes:
“Just don’t overthink it. And don’t overanalyse it.”
But, let’s stop for a moment and please, do not take it as I haven’t planned it at all – of course, I have. Actually, I approached it as a project of this scale is supposed to be approached; I studied the path, searched for places to stay, arranged my transfer from the airport to my first overnight. Everything is set and ready, so all that’s left is for me to go. Therefore, at this point, all I try to focus on is the present moment. So, I’ll take that flight, walk the first route, and then the second and so on. Just walking my way and taking it one moment at the time.
It’s funny how these days, people have been asking me if I am ready, if I have everything packed … And all I fell, while they brought those questions up, was: “I do. But really, I don’t want to talk about it right now so much. Because, you know, I’m still here, my present moment is this day and a few more have to pass. So, let’s enjoy our time together, shall we? Sure, the time for me to go on the way will come, and as it does, I’ll take it from there and take it step by step.” Through these words, I tried to show them that I walk my talk about mindfulness, which makes even the most demanding tasks, that bring the most rational fears, manageable.
Mindfulness Practice: Exercise 1
Mindfulness or the art of being in the moment has shown as a really helpful tool to use in the last days. The meaning of not wanting to jump from time to time. Using the exact moment for what it’s meant instead of doing big plans for the future. Who knows if the plans would even come true? And we can miss this moment now by trying to keep under control what we won’t necessarily have been able to keep there in the future.
So, I’ll let the flow take me to where I need to go. On one hand, I am really excited and happy about the pilgrimage to start already. But on the other one, I am also scared. It is far from easy to bound the fear as it is coming from the need of trying to rationalize this decision. 🙂
Thus, I’ll take it as the first exercise of Mindfulness for my Camino Frances:
To be in the moment, to take one step at the time and simply trust that everything will go the way it needs to go.
Simply, it will all be just fine.
During my walk, I have a really good plan to keep in touch and let you know about my progress once a week with a blog post. I believe, when the next Friday the first seven days pass, it shall already be very interesting letting you know about my ups and downs on the way to the final goal: walking it all the way to Santiago de Compostela. Don’t you agree? 😉
But by then, Buen Camino!